But Atreyu has a pretty nasty cough, poor guy.
I don't know what my issue is as to why I gave up again.
Its really hard when my husband is home and our routine gets thrown off, we tend to go out a lot more and therefore eat out a lot more because its convenient.
Im making a rule now though, that we can only eat out once and order in once while he is home from now on. I don't eat out or order in while he is gone so I think this will be ok. And it will save money!!
Im not feeling 100% today, I'm doped up on meds to suppress my sinus cold. So if I am feeling up to it tonight I will do the new workout video I bought.
But for now Im just trying to get my house cleaned since I have been slacking off due to being sick.
I don't feel very motivated, and I don't know why.
I really miss my husband. Him working away from home for so long has taken a toll on me. I feel alone a lot, and I get used to that, and then he comes home and I need to get used to that too. I love him so much, and he is amazing to me, and does so much for us. I just feel like if I didn't have him and the kids, I may just give up on myself all together somedays.
Im just so sick of failing at this weight loss thing. I can't get to the bottom of why I do this to myself, and because Im alone so often its easy to lie to myself.
I don't want to do that anymore.
I want to do this for me, to make myself happier, to make myself proud.
I feel like I just need to start and take it slow, and not set myself up and expect too much (which is what I usually do). Just do what I can for now, and accept all the help I can get.
I would like to go out for a walk, or take the kids to the park tonight and do the jogging thing again. But with a sick child its not an option.
So like I said maybe just start tonight with some crunches and a workout video.
I also need to make a plan, write myself a letter or make a video about how I feel today (like complete crap) and where I want to be. Make a plan that I stick to daily, fully commit. Stop giving up on myself. Stop abusing myself with food and hatred. And realize that I am worth so much more.
Just change.
I also need to make a plan, write myself a letter or make a video about how I feel today (like complete crap) and where I want to be. Make a plan that I stick to daily, fully commit. Stop giving up on myself. Stop abusing myself with food and hatred. And realize that I am worth so much more.
Just change.
As I have said many times before, thank you to all of you who continue to support me in this loooong journey..
4 comments:
I know how you feel:( I'm actually taking a break from blogging because it's so freaking embarrassing that I keep going in circles over and over again. I feel as though I'm doing a slight bit better but not enough as to actually start seeing some results. I'm really trying to change my eating habits and trying to eat healthier and less. It's all such a struggle and damn my issues that make it such a torture to get to where I need to be. I guess what will make it happen sooner or later it's not giving up...
I can completely relate to how you’re feeling. Matter of fact I felt like I was in the same rut as you just a few weeks ago. Trust me it gets better! As for your hubby throwing off your routine…ugh..totally get it. My hunny had been home for the last month due to an injury he got a work and omg life was totally outta whack. I felt like we were (actually we were) eating out almost every day and I didn’t get anything done. We usually save our eating out for once on the weekend but with him home all the time it was horrible. It’s good you have a plan though just try your hardest to stick to it, believe me I know it’s tough!
I have been feeling the same way Ayla. Hugs to you, and know that we will all support you in any way that we can!
Just take it slow. These kinds of big changes take time. You will get through this, eventually. Wait until you are comfortable with one healthy habit, and only then introduce the next one. Making a 180° turn quickly ends up as 360°, and you're back where you started.
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