Day 8-15

I have been wanting to write in here. I always get thrown off schedule when my husband gets home. Things have settled down now though. Im up an hour before everyone else so that I can write here and enjoy coffee alone lol.

I have been doing really good food wise.Looking back I'm sure I could have gone without the night time snack here and there, or at least picked something a little more healthy, but over all Im happy with how I have been doing.
My husband and I took the kids to the park a couple nights ago and we ran laps around the field.
When I say WE ran it was more like HE ran and I died and cursed out the world!! OMG, I am in such bad shape, I can't breathe, I felt like my shins were gonna snap in half, and I was sooo angry. He had to take the brunt of it, poor guy!
He was just giving me pointers and helping and trying to motivate me and I was getting mad.. I finally got so mad I was crying. I apologized and said I was just mad at myself for letting me get this way. It was embarrassing. And I felt like I let him down. He is in such good shape, and comes back from work every time looking better than the last time I saw him. And I just keep looking this way. And here I am in the field trying to run with him and I can't even talk Im so out of breath.

But you know what? I kept going. I need to change this! I can sit here feeling sorry for myself and have nothing change. Or I can go out there and work my ass off, literally!
I choose to succeed!
It is all in MY hands, I make that choice!
This is one thing no one can take away from me, or do for me.

I am soo thankful that my husband loves me as much as he does, because I would have left if he treated me the way I did out there.
So last night I went out by myself and ran/jogged/. I did laps in the dark in the field. And I did better than the day before. My shins felt worse mind you, but I knew it was in my head more than anything. Because 3 minutes after I stop it won't hurt anymore. So why not just push a little farther!?
So I did.
That is until a weird guy talking to himself popped out in the field... I ran home.
So maybe I should go when its a little lighter out from now on lol

Going to be very busy this weekend. Aiden's party is tomorrow, and only 2 parents have called to RSVP... ugh, I have a feeling more will show up but ffs an RSVP would have been nice!
oh and since we are talking about Aiden already, he has been going to school again on his own, hope this sticks *crosses fingers*. He also got 100% on his social studies test yesterday :D He is such a good kid! I hope he loves his party!

And then Sunday morning I am heading to YK to surprise my sister at her baby shower :D Im so excited! I will be there until Wednesday afternoon. So I think I am going to just do my weekly WI on Sunday morning before I leave. And I can post small updates from my phone. Im also on MFP and my name is AylaBean if any of you want to add me on there.

Hope my fellow Canadians have a great Thanksgiving!