Binge monster RAWR

I haven't been updating as much as I would like to. I'm actually up at 7 am on a Saturday just so I can have some alone time, have a coffee and post a new blog post in peace lol.. everyone's sleeping :)
Maybe I will have a nap later.

I've been doing good, working out everyday at the gym, except for yesterday. I took yesterday off cause my legs needed to heal! Ouch did they hurt lol
We are all going to Servus today. Rob will take the boys swimming while I go to the gym for an hour and then I will meet them down in the pool once I'm done.

I think I need to set mini goals for myself and also set some rewards for them.

I have been struggling a few times this week with food.
I'm scared for when Rob goes back to camp.
He went to the gym the other day and while he was gone the addict in me came out, I started looking at all the food I could eat and he wouldn't know about.. I felt so disgusted in myself for even thinking like that.. so I tried to make better choices.. but I still feel like I pigged out on the better choices.. the binge part of my addiction was still there.. just waiting for the right time to come out and BAM!
I'm glad I Pigged out on good stuff, but I still felt like I had no control at that point.. and that is the part I struggle with.
I need the control.
I try to look at it one day at a time and it has been helping me greatly this way, but apparently when I have no one around to hold me accountable, the binger might come out again.

Rob leaves for 3 weeks on the 25th... can I do this alone?

UGH, I have to stop doubting myself, I can do this.. I want this too bad to let the old habits ruin it for the new me I'm becoming. Doesn't help that I have had my period for the past week.. fack! Cramps from hell.. but I've been a trooper and still hit the gym, cramps or not. I'm hoping it eff's off for weigh in on Monday though.. I want to see a lower number.. I don't want to be disappointed in week 3.. its too soon!

I'm so glad to have all of your support, I truly need it! And I appreciate you all so much!


Oh and my mom is coming to visit on Wednesday!!! YAY, I miss her so much! So excited!