Life as a Fat Girl

My favorite person in the world is here :D My aunt Linda from Life As Linda is in town for the weekend.

Today we are going to Servus to workout together and then go swimming with the kids.

I haven't been to Servus in a looong time. It will feel great to finally get back to working out at the gym!

We are also going to Costco (favorite), the one in Sherwood Park apparently has a liquor store!!! So we are gonna go check that one out lol.

Yesterday I went to my first Biggest Loser challenge meeting.

I missed last week since I was not back from my trip yet.

So I did my official WI and they took my measurements.

I'm pretty sure I was the biggest lady there, but it wasn't an issue for me.

Everyone is there for the same reason. And I got to meet more people.

One of which I really enjoyed and seemed to click with pretty well.

I weighed more on that scale than I do on my home scale. So I'm not sure if I should track my weight with their scale or mine (online).

I think I will stick with mine actually. Cause I normally WI in the morning with no clothes on. And we meet in a public place after dinner time fully clothed, so I was a few lbs heavier at the WI than I was right before I left my house. And just for blog purposes I will stick to my online WI being from my scale, and they keep track of the weights at the meetings.

So after I got back from my trip I had almost forgot that my abuser (I cringe calling him that, but I hate saying his name, he's not human in my eyes, and doesn't deserve a name) had court.

He was found guilty months and months ago... but he got himself a new fancy lawyer and wanted to appeal. So his appeal date was the 17th of this month. I was a big ball of nerves the whole day waiting and waiting to hear how it went (it was in Yellowknife and my mom went) and finally my mom texted me and said "Decision has been reserved, meaning they need time to make their decision. Will be one of three things: appeal denied and sentence starts (which is what we want!)

a new trial, or acquittal. The last one would mean its all over."

I was so glad that this day had come and it would finally all be over... I didn't realize it would take even more time to finish.

They said it could take up to another month for an answer...

/sigh

You go from wanting him to get the biggest sentence he could get, to just wanting all to be done and over with.

I don't want to go back to court for trial again!! I know the other girls don't want to either.

But at the same time I don't want to let all these years of court be for nothing.

I need to just stop thinking about what could happen and wait for it to just happen at this point.

Whatever happens happens, and unless it goes to trial again there is nothing I can do.

He knows what he did, he can deny and deny all he wants. He was found guilty, whether or not he wins the appeal because he has a better lawyer now. Doesn't change the fact that we stood up for ourselves and faced him in court.

He isn't in jail right now, but I know this has had to have some impact on his life in a negative way.

And no that doesn't make up for anything, but it at least makes it feel like the whole court process was worth it a little bit.

ANYWAYS, enough about that.

I have had issues with my heart since I was a teenager. Due to eating disorders and taking way too many energy pills.

I have an arrhythmia  and my heart will randomly speed up super fast or slow down dramatically to the point of me passing out (while I was a teenager). I have dealt with this my whole life since then, but got good at sitting down if I felt it coming on, so that I don't faint. Well the other day (Thursday) I almost fainted in my room, but sat down in time, my vision went blurry almost tunnel vision and my heart was beating really hard and slow.

And then in the middle of the night I got up to go see why Rob wasn't in bed (he was sleeping on the couch lol) and as I turned around to go back down the hallway I felt like I was gonna faint, so I tried to sit down but I guess it just hit too fast and I woke up on the ground. I have bruises on both arms, I guess I hit the corner of the wall on my right side and then just the impact and the way my arm landed under my body on the left side left a bruise also.

So, I called my doctors office and made an appointment for Tuesday morning. The lady I talked to said I should have gone into the hospital, but she didn't know my history, I guess I wasn't as worried as she was lol. But if it happens again I will for sure go in to the hospital.

Like I said I haven't actually fainted since I was a teenager, so I'm not sure why this happened again.

Ill be glad to finally have things checked out and see what I can do about it if anything.