Trying again.

I deleted the past 4 or so posts that were about me starting over. How many times can one woman say "This is it. This time I'm actually gonna do it."?
I have taken some huge steps and made some big commitments recently that will propel my journey to love myself. I am trying not to call it my weight loss journey because that is only part of it. Like I posted in the last post (that I didn't delete), My mental health and my relationship with myself is what needs to be fixed. The weight is a direct reflection of those things. Even though I am now officially at my heaviest. I do believe this is my rock bottom. I feel like I literally am fighting for my life now.

It's embarrassing to think of how many times I have "started over" but maybe I needed to get to this space in my life to truly take control and show myself that I can be the hero of this story.

I recently went back on anxiety/depression meds. And what do you know, they made me gain about 15 lbs. Ugh, cause I totally needed that *rolls eyes*.
But the weight gain from the meds has stopped and shouldn't happen any longer.
But I do believe that the meds are doing their job. I have been able to get myself out of the house a lot more. My moods haven't been swinging as much, lol. I have a new found belief in myself. Something that I hadn't had in a very very long time.

I joined a group on facebook for plus size activity in my area. It has gotten me out so much and made me more aware of what I want. I have made an amazing friend through the group, whom I am going on an overnight road trip to Seattle with next weekend!!
I have joined a weight loss challenge within the group also that is in its second week now.
I am also joining a fit camp starting Monday that is 2 days a week (Mon-Thur) for 60 mins per class. And I love the trainer! She is so inspiring and motivating. So are the ladies in my challenge group! I'm pumped to get going with this and see what I am capable of.